


"I couldn't save Angella"

by MLauren



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hard talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25157275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLauren/pseuds/MLauren
Summary: I've seen a few "Catra has a panic attack" fics going around, but my friend and I wanted to see what that might look like for Adora. Here's my attempt at a Hurt/Comfort for the Princess of Power.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 194





	"I couldn't save Angella"

**_“I couldn’t save Angella,”_ **

M. Lauren

* * *

**Catra, heart racing and cheeks flushed, stared at the scene before her.** Water flooded the hall; the tub had overfilled. Bubbles spilled out onto the tile like a tiny model of Salineas, but that wasn’t what had Catra stopping dead in her tracks. 

_ Adora _ . 

She stood by the window, her eyes lost to the horizon. She never heard Catra come in, and that was completely out of character for her. With her hands gripping the window sill, Adora looked terrified. She was lost somewhere beyond the confines of Bright Moon. 

“Adora…” Catra’s voice came out a whisper. Still, she startled Adora from her thoughts. 

Adora spun around, panic in her wide eyes. A hand pressed into her chest above where the failsafe shined brightly.

“What- what are you doing here?” She glanced over Catra’s shoulder, feigning eye contact. 

“In  _ our _ room?” she snorted. 

Catra meant it as a joke, but her commentary wasn’t well-received. Adora flinched at her words, turning to the window, protecting her face from Catra’s attentive stare. 

“Is something up with you?” 

She moved into the room and turned off the tap. Despite her feelings about water, Catra submerged her hand beneath the lip of the tub. Waves poured out onto her feet. Wincing at the sensation, her eyes closing, Catra pulled the plug free from the bottom of the basin. 

Water began to drain. 

Carelessly, Catra yanked the many towels from their hangers. She dumped them onto the puddles sloshing between her toes. Adora never turned. She had yet to notice how she’d turned their bathroom into a swimming pool. Her eyes stayed forward, and her hands remained clasped around the sill. 

“Would you,  _ um _ , like to forgo the bath and go lie down instead?” Catra’s shoulders shrugged into her ears. She wouldn’t approach Adora, staying near the door; her tail swishing slowly at her feet. 

“Hmm?” Adora faced her.

Her blue eyes were darker than usual. They caught Catra’s directly, but her attention remained far away. 

“Oh…” they brightened only slightly. “Sure, sorry...”

Catra reached out a hand and Adora’s fingers slipped easily between hers. She took the lead, tugging a compliant Adora back into their bedroom. 

Once inside, Adora pulled away from Catra. She crawled onto the bed and curled promptly onto her side. Head firm in the fluff of her pillow, Adora closed her eyes. She felt Catra come up behind her, but never moved. Warm fur settled against her back, and Adora sighed. The arm around her waist tightened, lulling her into a deep and immediate sleep. 

It wasn’t long before she was awake again. Actually, it wasn’t long before Adora was being  _ shaken _ awake. Catra’s hands were tight around her upper arms. She shook Adora vigorously, narrowly avoiding taking yet another fist to her jaw.

“Woah, hey, Adora…” another blow circled her cheek. “Watch it, would you?”

She pushed Adora back into the mattress, pinning her there. Wide blue eyes snapped to hers. Adora’s chest was reeling as her hands finally lowered at her side. Catra continued to hold her down. She didn’t pull away until Adora’s breathing noticeably slowed. 

“You good?” she asked. 

Adora nodded, her attention shyly turning away. “Fine, sorry… I- I don’t know what got into me.”

“I don’t know, Princess. Fighting in your sleep is kind of your MO…” Catra teased her, but Adora didn’t respond. She tried again, “It’s not usually unawarrented, though. So, tell me. Who was the unlucky rival this time?”

Jaw wavering, Adora looked back to Catra. Her eyes only momentarily met hers before drifting away once more. 

“Come on,” Catra encouraged. “You know you can tell me… Who was it? Prime? Hordak? A big green training bot?”

Adora shook her head. A humming noise resonated deep in her throat. 

Sensing her discomfort, Catra pulled back. She sat up on her knees, looking down at Adora. Suddenly, everything made perfect sense.

“It was me… wasn’t it?” her head tilted curiously. 

Adora’s eyes quickly returned. “Yes,” she bit her lip. 

“That’s okay. I pummel you in my dreams sometimes, too, but mostly it’s you doing the ass kicking.” Catra smirked, but Adora’s expression remained blank. “I’m trying here, Princess… Aren’t you the one always telling me to open up?”

Adora reeled in a deep breath. “I don’t want to…” her voice fell away.

“Want to what- hurt me? You can’t, so just go on and try…”

Adora waited a long minute. Her eyes desperately traced over Catra’s face. Her brow pinched and lowered skeptically. She waited another breath; maybe two.

Finally, she whispered, “I… I couldn’t save Angella… I can never save Angella…” 

“Oh…” Catra inched back and away from Adora. 

“I did- I didn’t want to say anything to you… I know you still blame yourself for what happened to her, Catra.”

“I never said that,” Catra fought, her arms crossing. 

“You didn’t have to. I see… I know how it hurts you to look at Micah and Glimmer. When we pass Angella’s portrait in the hall… You won’t- you never say anything, but I know…”

Her arms tightened over her chest. Catra dared not trust her own voice, afraid she might say the wrong thing if she tried; afraid she might hurt Adora further if her harsher thoughts surfaced. 

Instead, Adora continued, “Just like you blame yourself, I blame me, too… When I sleep, sometimes I dream I’m fighting you to get to her, and everytime… I fail; I fail you  _ both _ . I fight you and I lose her, and both images… they  _ hurt _ .”

“You’re wasting your energy,” Catra scoffed. Her knees pulled up under her chin. “We both know I’m responsible for what happened to Angella. We know this is just another way I let you down over the years.”

“Catra…” Adora painfully sighed. “I never- I would never say that! I don’t think that for a minute. I never have! You couldn’t have known what would happen. You didn’t understand the portal anymore than any of us did-”

“I listened to Entrapta, okay?” Her voice raised. “I knew nothing good would come from pulling that lever, but I did it anyway! I didn’t care who I hurt- I didn’t care if I hurt you… or anyone else… I didn’t care!”

Catra’s eyes were focused on the side wall when Adora’s hand settled on her knee. She didn’t divert her gaze. Catra focused on the shadows dancing in the pale moonlight slipping through the cracked balcony doors. 

“You were angry,” Adora defended. “-and rightfully so. I betrayed you, Catra. I left you behind and-”

“No!” Catra cut her off. “You don’t get to say that to me. You don’t get to tell me what I did was justified. It’s not justified! What I did was wrong! Hurting people, hurting you- it was wrong!”

“It  _ was _ ! It was wrong,” Adora continued. “-but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand it. That doesn’t mean I hold you responsible for her death or anyone else's. This is why I didn’t want to say anything to you… I was afraid if I did, you would think I was upset- that you’d believe I thought  _ you _ were the one to blame… but I don’t! I don’t blame you, Catra… I just need help learning how to stop blaming myself…”

Once again not trusting her own voice, Catra placed a hand on top of Adora’s. Gold and Turquoise eyes met her grey-blues ones. 

“What are you thinking?” Adora propped herself up onto an elbow. She turned over her other hand so their palms fit together. 

“I’m thinking… you’re an idiot…” Catra’s iconic smirk returned. “-but I’m also thinking Shadow Weaver did a lot more damage to both of us than can be fixed in one night.”

Eyes lowering, Adora’s head cocked. “You’re not mad?”

Her head shook, “No.”

“You believe I don’t blame you?”

Shrugging, Catra relaxed onto her side across from Adora. “You never blame me, for anything- never have. Why would you start now, even when it makes sense to?” 

Adora tried to cut her off, but Catra’s fingers pressed into her lips. 

“Chill, dork, I’m not finished.” 

Adora’s lips tugged into a small smile and she settled with an arm over Catra’s waist. 

Catra withdrew her hand. “As I was saying, I knew you  _ could _ blame me, but I know you don’t. That’s just who you are. It also makes perfect sense that you would blame yourself, which in my opinion is just ridiculous.”

Adora lowered her brow. 

“That being said, you want to learn to stop blaming yourself, but do you remember what you told me?” She raised a pointed claw, pushing Adora’s fallen hair behind her ear.

“I said that only  _ you _ have the power to change your thoughts,” Adora responded. 

“-and I’m afraid the same holds true here,” Catra’s arm joined Adora’s and her hand rested against the small of her back. She drew Adora nearer. “Angella sacrificed herself for you because she knew Etheria needed you to fight. That’s no different than me sacrificing myself for Glimmer, in the hopes it would keep you from boarding Prime’s ship… We made our decisions, Adora, and not so you would feel guilty about them, but so you would know how important you are.”

Her blue eyes flooded with emotion. Adora’s smile grew careless as her lips turned lax. “I like this Catra sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it, Princess. This Catra’s reserved for late nights after my freakishly strong girlfriend is done taking jabs at my face.”

Adora laughed, curling closer to her, “I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” her hand warmed through Adora’s shirt. “I don’t want to forget all my years of training now that the universe is saved or whatever…”

Her forehead rested against Catra’s as she closed her eyes. “Dork,” Adora mumbled and brushed their noses together.

“You can tell me anything, okay- even if you think it’ll hurt me. How else are we going to make this work?”

“You’re pretty partial to kisses,” Adora gave her a quick demonstration. “-and ear scratches…”

Catra hummed. “Yes, well, I’m sure that solves  _ some _ of our issues…”

Adora giggled as Catra pulled back from her face, ear twitching as she scratched sensitive fur. 

“Thank you,” she whispered and her hand fell away. 

“Anytime, Princess… Now, get back here with those fingers and do the other side.” 

Adora happily obliged. 

* * *

_ Cheers, _

_ M. _

**Author's Note:**

> Big HUGE thanks to superamy777 for the edits, and to my pal Aiko for the quote prompt. Love you both.


End file.
